Just cropdusted the office
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
