you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
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so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
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I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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