I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
