Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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