the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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