Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
