my soul wont recognize me after tonight
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize