Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
