Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
