He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
