My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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