His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize