the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize
