found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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