We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize