my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
