I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize