I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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