You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
