Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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