Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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