what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
