he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
