My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize