North Korea, Best Korea!
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Are my feet made of real feet?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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