i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Randomize
