My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
