we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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