Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize