Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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