Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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