my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I can text with my tongue
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize