Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
