when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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