I skipped work to stalk him.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
