Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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