erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
