I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
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