So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Randomize
