if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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