remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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