Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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