So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
