I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
