don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
a search helicopter?!
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
