Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
