Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
