first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
