You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
