I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
