My liver just broke up with me...
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
