you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
