Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
