I think scott just propositioned me for sex
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize