My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
