Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
