I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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