I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
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I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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