I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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