Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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