A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
