I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
